Way Back Machine 1991

     WEISS FAMILY CHRONICLES 1991A

JAN  1    NEW RECORDS ESTABLISHED FOR HOMICIDES IN DC.(483 VS 450 IN 1989), ARLINGTON (12 VS 1 IN 1989) AND VARIOUS OTHER LOCAL JURISDICTIONS.

JAN  1    NEW RECORD HIGH AVE TEMP. FOR D.C. IN 1990 OVER 60°F.

JAN  1    TOOK BETH & GEORGE TO EMPTY PARKING LOT IN AM. AND HAD THEM DRIVE CAR AROUND PARKING ISLANDS. ALSO ANN MAKES 4 LOAVES OF CHALLAH (JEWISH EGG BREAD) WITH B & G ASSISTING.

JAN  7    PETE ROSE OUT OF PRISON AFTER 5½ MO. FEDERAL EMPLOYEES LET OUT OF WORK EARLY BECAUSE OF SNOWSTORM. BETH AND I MADE 4 SNOWMEN IN FRONT YARD (GEORGE GOT ANGRY AT SNOW'S LACK OF TENSILE STRENGTH AND WENT INSIDE).

JAN  7    DISCUSSING BETH'S HOMEWORK I ASK HER IF SHE KNOWS WHAT A GALVANOMETER IS. SHE SAYS, "IT'S THIS STUPID THING THAT NEVER WORKS AND IT HAS A PIECE OF COPPER OVER A COMPASS AND IT IS SO ANNOYING."

JAN  9    SO FAR THIS WEEK, KIDS HAVE BEEN OFF ONE DAY, STARTED SCHOOL LATE ONE DAY AND LEFT SCHOOL EARLY TWO DAYS DUE TO SNOW.

JAN  9    A D.C. COUNCILMAN RAISED PRIVATE DONATIONS TO GIVE FORMER MAYOR (AND ADMITTED ADULTERER AND CONVICTED DRUG POSSESSOR) MARION BARRY A LARGE CHERRY-BLACK CHRYSLER. THE FORMER MAYOR WAS ON VACATION WHEN THE PRESENTATION HAD BEEN SCHEDULED AND THE PRESENTATION WAS POSTPONED.

JAN 10    PER MY SUGGESTION, BETH BRINGS IN STRIPS OF RED CABBAGE TO SCHOOL, SITS NEAR THE CLIQUE AFFILIATED GIRLS AND TELLS THEM THE RED CABBAGE IS AN EXOTIC SUBSTANCE WITH MAGICAL (FEMALE FIGURE ENHANCING) PROPERTIES. THE GIRLS BELIEVED HER.

JAN 10    SACRAMENTO KINGS SCORE ONLY 59 (27 PTS IN 1ST HALF) ATCHARLOTTE (101). LOWEST NBA SCORE IN 35 YEARS.

JAN 13    GEORGE CAN NOW PLAY THE 'CARMEN SANDIEGO' EDUCATIONAL GEOGRAPHY GAME WITHOUT LEARNING ANY MORE GEOGRAPHY SINCE HE MEMORIZED THE INFORMATION ABOUT EACH COUNTRY.

JAN 13    BETH WAS TRAUMATIZED BY A DISCUSSION ABOUT THE INEVITABILITY OF ACNE AND INSISTED WE GET SOME ACNE REMOVAL STUFF. AT THE STORE, BETH POINTED OUT THAT IT COMES IN REGULAR AND EXTRA STRENGTH AND ASKED WHICH WE WOULD GET. I SAID, "WELL, SINCE YOU ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE ANY PIMPLES AT ALL YET, WHY DON'T WE GET THE REGULAR STRENGTH KIND."

JAN  20   WHILE CLEANING OUT PANTRY, KIDS FIND PHILADELPHIA CREAM CHEESE COOKBOOK COUPON EXPIRATION DATE SEPT. 30, 1982.

JAN  20   GEORGE HAS ARRANGED TO HAVE A GIRL IN HER CLASS INVITE HIM TO HER HOUSE TO GIVE HIM DRAWING LESSONS. GEORGE SAYS ABOUT THE GIRL, "SHE IS PRETTY AND WEARS VERY, VERY NICE CLOTHES AND HAS BEAUTIFUL EYES."

JAN  25   PERSIAN GULF CONFLICT TAKES ITS TOLL AS CNN RAISES COST OF 30 SEC AD DURING PRIME TIME FROM $3500 TO $15000.

FEB  01   BETH GETS LARYNGITIS. SHE ASKS ME, "WHAT HELPS CURE THIS." I SAID, "DON'T TALK SO MUCH." SHE SAID, "WHAT ELSE."

FEB  02   CAREER HIGHLIGHT. GAS STATION ATTENDANT OFFERS ME A FREE CUP OF COFFEE.

FEB  04   AT WHITMAN MIDDLE SCHOOL FOR MEETING ON WHAT IT WILL BE LIKE FOR BETH. ONE FACTOID - BETH WILL HAVE TO REMEMBER 3 DIFFERENT LOCKER LOCATIONS AND COMBINATIONS. THAT SHOULD MAKE FOR PERMANENT TRAUMA.

FEB  07   I CALLED GEORGE ABOUT 4 PM WITH INSTRUCTIONS. HE DIDN'T SEEM HAPPY ABOUT CARRYING THEM OUT. SO I SAID, "THAT DOESN'T SEEM TOO MUCH TO ASK". HE RESPONDED, "BUT IT MAY BE TOO MUCH TO DO."

FEB  07   SOME POETRY BY BETH (HAIKU STYLE). BETTING, BUSTLING, CHEERING, HUSTLING, COMPLAINING, EATING, TALKING, BEATING, WHILE I SIT AND WATCH THE GAME.

FEB  07   I HIT ANOTHER VEHICLE IN THE NASSIF BLDG GARAGE. THE OWNER IS A 20 YEAR VETERAN OF THE GENERAL COUNCIL'S OFFICE (DEPT'S LAW STAFF).

FEB  10   GEORGE HELPS ANN PRINT OUT PRODUCT ON COMPUTER.

FEB  10   CAPS (WASH) AND FLYERS (PHIL) COMBINE FOR RECORD 294 PENALTY MINUTES (NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE RECORD).

FEB  11   AT WORK WE GET A PRINTOUT FROM MANAGEMENT ORDERING US TO INVESTIGATE 4 DECEMBER 90 PHONE CALLS (I.E. DETERMINE IF THEY WERE PERSONAL IN NATURE) THAT COST THE GOVERNMENT A TOTAL OF $3.89. ALL PHONE CALLS WERE MADE TO PHONE NUMBERS NO LONGER IN SERVICE. TWO FROM NUMBERS THAT WE CAN'T LOCATE BY PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT IN THE DEPARTMENTAL DIRECTORY. TOTAL COST OF OUR INVESTIGATION WAS ABOUT $60.

FEB  12   DISCOVERED THAT BOTH BETH AND GEORGE LIKE TO WATCH PEOPLE'S COURT WHEN THEY ARE HOME SICK. I ASKED BETH WHY SHE LIKED THE SHOW AND SHE SAID, "I GET TO STICK MY NOSE IN OTHER PEOPLE'S BUSINESS WITHOUT GETTING IN TROUBLE."

FEB  13   WENT TO RETIREMENT PARTY AT WORK WHERE 5 TYPES OF CHICKEN WINGS WERE SERVED (2 BARBEQUED, 1 BROILED, 1 BAKED, 1 FRIED).

FEB  14   NEW SECURITY MEASURES AT DOT CAUSE HAVOC IN MAILROOM AS DOZENS AND DOZENS OF VALENTINE FLOWER COURIERS ARE HELD WAITING FOR MULTIPLE CLEARANCE PROCEDURES.

FEB  17   TOOK BETH TO SEE HANDEL'S ORATORIO "ESTER" DURING WHICH ONE OF THE SINGERS ACTUALLY STOLE ANOTHER SINGERS LINES. OTHERWISE QUITE GOOD.

FEB  18   GEORGE HAS A PT 109 COMPUTER SOFTWARE GAME IN WHICH HE IS QUITE ADEPT AT SINKING ENEMY VESSALS BUT TENDS TO GROUND HIS SHIP EVERY SO OFTEN.

FEB  23   BETH CLAIMS SHE LOVES ASKING FOR THINGS, GETTING AN INITIAL TURNDOWN AND THEN LOOKING A LITTLE FORLORN AND GETTING A SUBSEQUENT APPROVAL. HAVE TO WATCH OUT FOR THIS TACTIC, ALTHOUGH I MAY BE UNABLE TO RESIST IT.

FEB  28   FINAL DESTRUCTION OF EVIL FORCE COMPLETING SEQUENCE OF EVENTS THAT BEGAN IN AUGUST 90, WHEN THE EVIL FORCE WAS UNLEASHED. YES, THE ROCKVILLE, MD. ROTWEILLER DOGS WERE INJECTED WITH SODIUM PENTOTHAL CULMINATING A 6 MONTH OF ADMINISTRATIVE HEARINGS.

MAR  01   BETH HAS SINGING AND ACTING PART AS DRESSMAKER IN SCHOOL      PLAY (PIED PIPER OF HAMLIN).

MAR  01   I PUT TWO PREMADE, PREWRAPPED PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICHES IN THE REFRIGERATOR AND TOLD BETH AND GEORGE THAT THEY SHOULD EAT THEM THE NEXT DAY AND NOTED HOW EASY IT WOULD BE FOR THEM, ETC. GEORGE THEN SAYS, "DO WE PAY $3.95 FOR SHIPPING AND HANDLING?", BETH SAYS, "GET $200 CREDIT ON ANY OLD CHAIR WHEN YOU BUY A NEW CONTOUR CHAIR FROM US."

MAR  01   IN DEFENSE OF HIS CONVICTED (OF MANSLAUGHTER) SON, MULTIMILLIONAIRE MARLON BRANDO SAYS, "THE POOR CHILD NEVER HAD A CHANCE IN LIFE."

MAR  04   BETH REPORTS THAT SHE HAS SUBCONSCIOUSLY BEEN MAKING SHEEP NOISES WHILE DOING HER WORK AT SCHOOL THUS CONFUSING THE 'CLIQUES'.

MAR  06   GEORGE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE ART LESSONS FROM HEATHER BECAUSE HEATHER WILL ONLY TEACH HIM KELLY'S (ANOTHER GIRL IN HIS 2ND GRADE CLASS) ART STYLE.

MAR  07   AFTER COUNTLESS BRIDGE GAMES AT WORK WE FINALLY HAD ONE        END IN A TIE 1630-1630.

MAR  08   I LEFT MY WALLET AT THE OFFICE. AT 10 PM I ASSUMED I HAD LOST IT. TOOK MAR 09 TO CANCEL CREDIT CARDS, GET NEW DRIVER'S LICENSE, ETC. SURPRISE. NOW I HAVE DUPLICATE DRIVER'S LICENSE, ETC.

MAR  10   GEORGE (WITH ANN'S HELP) MAKES A DYNAMITE SALMON/BROCCOLI AND CREAM OF CELERY CASSEROLE BASED ON KID'S RECIPE IN THE MAR 10 NEWSPAPER.

MAR  14   AT THE OFFICE MYSELF AND TWO OTHER 40+ YR TYPES STRUNG CABLE THROUGH CEILING FOR COMPUTER NETWORK. THE YOUNGER EMPLOYEES (MOST OF WHOM WERE FEMALE) ALL HAD EXCUSES FOR NOT DOING IT.

MAR  16   SEVEN PERSON SHAFSKOFT GAME AT COLUMBIA GOES 63 HANDS.

MAR  19   GEORGE'S EXCUSE FOR POOR KITCHEN FLOOR JOB: "WHEN I VACUUM THE CRUMBS GO BELOW THE FLOOR THEN WHEN YOU COME UP TO INSPECT, THE CRUMBS BOUNCE UP ABOVE THE FLOOR AGAIN."

MAR  21   GEORGE TELLS HIS GRANDMOTHER THAT HE LOST ANOTHER TOOTH.

     GRANDMA - DID THE TOOTH COME OUT BY ITSELF OR DID YOU               WIGGLE IT OUT, BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSE TO WIGGLE           IT OUT.

     GEORGE -  OH IT CAME OUT BY ITSELF...PAUSE...UH..WHAT WOULD              HAPPEN IF IT HAD COME OUT BY WIGGLING?              MAR   22   BETH IS A MINSTREL IN SCHOOL MEDIEVAL FESTIVAL. ANN MAKES         COSTUME BETH PLAYS VIOLA FOR KIDS.                

MAR  23   BETH AND GEORGE ON PLANE TO ATLANTA BY THEMSELVES         (MILESTONE). RETURNED ON MAR 28.

MAR  27   ANOTHER CAREER HIGHLIGHT. I ESTABLISHED A CONFERENCE CALL BETWEEN MYSELF ANOTHER HUMAN AND OUR VOICEMAIL COMPUTER (TO PROVE TO THE OTHER HUMAN THAT I HAD RECEIVED A CERTAIN MESSAGE).

MAR  31   M, BETH AND GEORGE WALKED TO B&G'S SCHOOL (THEY USE BUS ON SCHOOL DAYS). SAW A DEAD CAT. GEORGE EXPLAINED THE INTICACIES OF THE WAR BETWEEN KATHERINE'S CLUB AND KELLY'S CLUB. AT ONE TIME HE HAD US FEED ID CARDS INTO A SEWER COVER TO GET INTO KATHERINE'S PRETEND LAB. BETH ASKS, "WHY DO WE NEED TO USE AN ID TO GET INTO THE LAB." GEORGE SAYS, "DON'T BLAME ME, IT'S KATHERINE'S LAB."

  

WEISS FAMILY CHRONICLES 1991B

APR  01   BETH TAKES READING COMPREHENSION STANDARDIZED TEST. ONE OF THE PASSAGES IN ABOUT 'HOW WE USE SAWDUST'. BETH SAYS, "DO YOU BELIEVE THEY FOUND ENOUGH TO WRITE 7 PARAGRAPHS ABOUT IT?"

APR  02   TWO TONS OF ELEPHANT MANURE MISSING FROM DC ARMORY (WHERE          CIRCUS IS IN TOWN.)

APR  03   WASHINGTON BULLET'S (BASKETBALL) MASCOT 'HOOPS' IS EJECTED BY A REFEREE FOR INCITING CROWD (IN HOME LOSS TO PORTLAND). COACH AND 2 PLAYERS ALSO EJECTED.

APR  10   GEORGE GETS STOMACH FLU. I GOT HIM OUT OF SCHOOL TO DOCTOR THEN WENT TO DRUG STORE TO PICK UP PRESCRIPTION. I ASKED THEM HOW LONG IT WOULD TAKE. THEY SAID "5 MIN."  JUST THEN GEORGE THREW UP ON THEIR FLOOR. I SAID "WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HURRY UP A BIT PLEASE".

APR  13   MIDNIGHT FORECAST FOR NOON WAS PT CLOUDY 60°F. RAIN WAS        HEAVY TEMP WAS 45°F.

APR  13   STARTED TO TEACH CRIBBAGE TO BETH AND GEORGE. I ALSO TEACH THE OBNOXIOUS RHYMES AND TAUNTS THAT IRWIN AND I DEVELOPED TWO DECADES AGO.

APR  14   3 DAY SNOWSTORM IN ROCKIES LEAVES UP TO 80" OF SNOW AT         RED LODGE, MONTANA.

APR  16   BETH DECIDES TO DO % PROBLEMS BY REDUCING THE % FIRST BEFORE MULTIPLYING. (E.G. 35% x 60 = 7/20 x 60 = 7 x 3 = 21 RATHER THAN 35% x 60 = 210/100 = 21). THIS PROVES EFFECTIVE AND SHE TEACHES IT TO THE OTHER 6TH GRADERS BY REQUEST OF TEACHER.

APR  16   GEORGE PULLS BENEDICT ARNOLD TRICK. LEAVES KATHERINE'S CLUB AND JOINS KELLY'S CLUB AT 2ND GRADE RECESS PLAYGROUND.

APR  19   WASH POST ARTICLE ABOUT FORMER REPUBLICAN PARTY POLITICAL          CONSULTANT NOW AMONG THE ALEXANDRIA HOMELESS

APR  20   BETH IN VIOLA RECITAL - 900 OTHERS PLAY AT 5 MINITE      INTERVALS IN 11 ROOMS FOR ENTIRE DAY (FAIRFAX COUNTY'S        ANSWER TO THE CIRCUS AT ROME).

APR  20-21  IN TWO GAMES AT PITTSBURGH, ANDRE DAWSON OF CHI CUBS HITS GRAND SLAM HR IN LOSING EFFORT IN BOTH GAMES AND IN THE SECOND GAME, THE CUBS BLEW 5 RUN LEADS TWICE (7-2 AFTER 8½, AND 12-7 AFTER 11½).

APR  23-26 SOCCOR OR SOFTBALL PRACTISES EVERY DAY AFTER WORK CULMINATING IN GAMES ON APR 27. BETH MAKES ONE SUPERB PLAY ON HARD HIT BALL (SOFTBALL). GEORGE PLAYS ALL 4 QUARTERS ON WARM DAY IN TALL WET GRASS AGAINST A TEAM THAT CHEATS. PLAYERS EXHAUSTED BY END OF GAME.

APR  26   MEETINGS AT 6:30 AM, 9 AM, AND 12:30 TO NEGOTIATE CONTRACT AT WORK. SOME MEETINGS WITH COMPANIES THAT HAD BID MORE THAN TWICE WHAT WE COULD PAY. WASTE OF GOVT. AND PRIVATE FUNDS.

MAY  01   NOLAN RYAN PITCHES NO HITTER AT AGE 44, STRIKES OUT 16         TORONTO BLUE JAYS.

MAY  06   LIGHTENING HITS ONE OF BLACK WALNUT TREES IN BACKYARD.         ONE THIRD OF TREE IS DOWN (TREE EXPECTED TO LIVE).

MAY  09   GEORGE CLAIMS PIVOTAL ROLE IN DESTROYING KELLY'S CLUB.

MAY  09   BETH MAKES WORD PROBLEMS AS A MATH HOMEWORK EXERCISE. ONE PROBLEM IS USING LOGIC TO IDENTIFY ANIMALS WITH THEIR NAME. SHE ASKS GEORGE TO HELP THINK OF A NAME FOR A FISH. GEORGE PICKS THE NAME "SCRUFFY". BETH USES IT.

MAY  12   RANDY JOHNSON (SEATTLE) 6'10" VS. BEN McDONALD (BALTIMORE) 6'7" SETS RECORD HEIGHT FOR COMBINED STARTING PITCHERS. (ORIOLES LOSE).

MAY  14   GEORGE SHOWS ME SOME SCHOOL WORK AND SAYS, "WELL, DAD, THE BOTTOM LINE ON CELSIUS IS THAT 70° IS HOT SOUP AND 37° IS HUMAN BODY AND 0° IS FREEZING OK."

MAY  14   OF ORIOLES LAST 25 HOME RUNS 24 HAVE BEEN SOLO.

MAY  15   WASHINGTON POST REVISES BASEBALL BOX SCORES (RBI NOW BI; BBs, AND Ks BY PLAYER NOTED EACH GAME.)

MAY  15   CHI VS BOSTON 8½ INNING, 4 HRS 11 MIN (RECORD).

MAY  19   CONVERSATION AFTER VISIT,

     M'S MOM - MARTIN, DO YOU HAVE EVERYTHING I GAVE YOU TO TAKE             HOME?

     MARTIN -  YES MOM, I HAVE IT ALL PACKED UP.

     M'S MOM - GOOD. LET ME GIVE YOU SOMETHING ELSE THEN.

MAY  23   SAN DIEGO 11 ATLANTA 10. SAN DIEGO SCORED 6 UNEARNED RUNS          ON 5 ATLANTA ERRORS. BOTH TEAMS BLEW 2 SAVE CHANCES. BOTH          TEAMS ALSO SCORED 4 RUNS IN 11TH (OF 13) INNING. MINN LEAVES 21 ON BASE IN 11 INNINGS DESPITE 4 D, 1 T.

MAY  25   BETH AND ANN LEAVE FOR 2 WEEKS IN UNITED KINGDOM.

MAY  26   WHILE STOPPED AT AN INTERSECTION, GEORGE & I SAW A MOUSE COME OUT OF A HOLE IN A UTILITY COVER AND SCURRY ACROSS THE STREET.

MAY  26   I DREAMED I WAS IN THE CELEBRITY SECTION AT THE COTTON BOWL TO SEE A DALLAS FB GAME THEN WENT TO A DINNER WHERE THE SPEAKER SHOWED SLIDES OF THE ROAD FROM THE COWBOY EXERCISE AREA TO THE PLAYING FIELD AND SOLICITED DONATIONS FROM ME TO PAY FOR IT.

MAY  27   ON THE 3RD 90°F DAY IN A ROW, GEORGE AND I HAD A SNOWBALL FIGHT. THE MT. VERNON REC CENTER HAD JUST CONVERTED THE ICE RINK INTO A ROLLERSKATING RINK AND HAD DUMPED THE ICE OUTSIDE AN ACCESS ENTRANCE. AT FIRST I TOLD GEORGE IT WAS A LOCALIZED SNOW STORM BUT FESSED UP TO THE TRUTH WHEN HE BELIEVED ME. (snow not completely melted by May 29 despite record heat, so we had another snowball fight).

MAY  28   DOT HAS ADOPTED THE SLOGAN 'USE SEATBELTS, FIGHT THE SUMMERTIME BLUES' DOES ANYBODY GET IT?????????

MAY  28   I GOT A SOLICITATION FROM THE LEAGUE OF WOMEN VOTERS ASKING ME TO HELP FIGHT (AMOUNG OTHER THINGS) NEGATIVE CAMPAIGN ADS. HECK, THAT'S THE ONLY THING ABOUT ELECTIONS THAT I LIKE.

JUN  01   MAY HAD 11 DAYS (ALL AT END OF MONTH) WITH MAX TEMPS ABOVE 90°F. THIS WARMED UP THE SWIMMING POOL TO MID SUMMER TEMPERATURE AND APPARENTLY KILLED ALL THE BAGWORMS THAT HAD PLAGUED THE NEIGHBORHOOD EVERGREEN TREES FOR THE PAST DECADE.

JUN  04   PURCHASED M&Ms FOR $3.59 FOR A 2# BAG. BEST PRICE IN 10 YEARS. MARS INTRODUCING PEANUT BUTTER M&Ms THIS MONTH.

JUN  05   D.C. PARKING ENFORCEMENT GAVE PARKING TICKETS TO A CAR         WITH PENN LICENCE PLATES PARKED ILLEGALLY FOR 15 HOURS. THE DRIVER OF THE CAR WAS IN HIS CAR AND DEAD FROM GUNSHOT. TWO PARKING OFFICERS WERE THEN GIVEN DAYS OFF TO RECOVER FROM THE STRESS CAUSED BY THE PUBLICITY.

JUN  08   GEORGE PLAYS IN HIS FIRST GAME OF 5 (REAL FLESH AND BLOOD) PERSON SHEEPSHEAD (SHAFSKOFT). G MADE TYPICAL ROOKIE ERRORS BUT OTHERWISE DID WELL.

JUN  08   AT BREAKFAST, GEORGE TELLS ME OF HIS PLANS FOR TRICKING KELLY (GIRL IN 2ND GRADE) NEXT WEEK AT SCHOOL BY CONVINCING HER OF ALL SORTS OF HALLUCINATIONS.

     MARTIN    -NOW GEORGE, YOU REALLY SHOULD TRY TO BE MORE             TRUTHFUL TO YOUR CLASSMATES.

     GEORGE    -BUT DADDY, IT'S SO MUCH FUN TO LIE. 

JUNE 09   GEORGE AND I HAD BRUNCH AT MURPHY'S TAVERN (G MADE ME STOP AT MY 4TH COMPLIMENTARY GLASS OF CHAMPAGNE). ABOUT 11 pm PICKED BETH AND ANN UP AT AIRPORT. THEY BOTH HAD SNIFFLES FROM STAYING IN POORLY (OR UN) HEATED ENGLISH/IRISH HOTELS DURING THE COLDEST EARLY JUNE THAT AREA HAD EXPERIENCED IN 100+ YEARS. 

JUNE 12   BETH RECOVERS FROM HEAD COLD/JET LAGGED DIZZINESS. GEORGE SHOWS ME BRIDGE HAND HE 'DEALT AT RANDOM'. HE HAD ªAKQJ,©AKQ,¨AKQ,§AKQ IN HIS HAND. I SAID, "ARE YOU SURE YOU DEALT THIS AND IT CAME OUT THIS WAY." GEORGE LOOKED INNOCENTLY AND SAID, "OF COURSE."

JUNE 13   EACH SAN DIEGO INFIELDER (1B,2B,SS,3B,C) MAKES AN ERROR IN 12-1 LOSS TO ST. LOUIS.

JUNE 16   OTIS NIXON (ATLANTA) STEALS SIX BASES VS. MONTREAL TO SET NL RECORD & TIE 1912 AL MARK (EDDIE COLLINS, PHIL).

JUNE 16   GEORGE SPOTS BANANA YOGURT SHAKE RECIPE IN NEWSPAPER MINIPAGE. ANN MAKES IT. GEORGE TASTES

     GEORGE -  WELL, I DON'T LOVE IT BUT I DON'T HATE IT.

     ANN    -  GIVE IT ANOTHER TRY, PLEASE.

     GEORGE (AFTER A BIG GULP) - I CHANGED MY MIND. I HATE IT.

JUNE 17   ANN STARTS NEW JOB IN HAZARDOUS WASTE TRANSPORT REGS FROM OFFICE IN SAME BUILDING AS MARTIN.

JUNE 18   GEORGE HAS BIG SMILE AT BREAKFAST (VERY UNUSUAL). I NOTICE, HE SAYS, "AFTER TODAY I HAVE 10 WEEKS OF VACATION WHILE YOU'LL HAVE TO WORK."

JUNE 18   AFTER ROCKET HAD TO BE DESTROYED 24 SECONDS INTO LAUNCH, THE CHAIRMAN OF THE CORPORATION THAT OWNED THE ROCKET (REGULATED BY OUR DEPT.) WAS HEARD TO SAY, "...AND WE HAD SUCH A GREAT COUNTDOWN."

JUNE 19   I SHOWED BETH A POINTLESS MEMO WRITTEN BY ONE OF THE TOP PEOPLE IN OUR AGENCY. BETH SAYS, "I HAVE AN IDEA, WHY DON'T EACH OF YOU GIVE HIM SOME OF YOUR WORK TO DO."

JUNE 19   GREG OLSON THROWS 3 WILD PITCHES IN AN INNING (FOR BALT). KIRK GIBSON HITS FIRST GRAND SLAM HR (OUT OF 202 PREVIOUS HRs) FOR KC.

JUNE 19   KIDS PICK BLACKBERRIES. HELP MAKE BLACKBERRY PIE.

JUNE 30   GEORGE AFTER SETTLING BACK IN CHAIR AT SWIMMING POOL SAYS, "DAD, WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HEATHER AND JENNIFER'S (TWO 2ND GRADERS IN NEIGHBORHOOD) HOUSE AND BRING THEM?" 

 

CHRONOLOGY 1991 CONTINUED

JULY 1    D.C. POLICEWOMEN IS SHOT AND KILLED. HER BOYFRIEND, A POLICEMAN FROM SAME PRECINCT IS ARRESTED AND CHARGED.

JULY 1-12 M ON ACTIVE DUTY

JULY 8-12 ANN IN MISSISSIPPI AT COURSE IN HAZARDOUS MATERIALS      TRANSPORTATION.

JULY 12   CONVERSATION BETWEEN BETH & GEORGE. BETH WAS IN CHARGE OF GETTING GEORGE TO WRITE (SUMMER HOMEWORK EQUIVALENT) AND WAS TRYING OUT MOTIVATION TECHNIQUES.

     BETH - WELL GEORGE, WHY DON'T YOU PRETEND YOU ARE WRITING TO      THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND AND YOU WANT TO MAKE IT VERY NEAT.

     GEORGE - WHY? I DON'T KNOW HER.

     BETH - WELL THEN PRETEND YOU ARE TRYING TO GET TO KNOW HER.

     GEORGE - WHY? I DON'T WANT TO KNOW HER.

     BETH - OK. LET'S TRY A NEW APPROACH.  JUST DO IT!!!!!

JULY 14-21 BETH AT CAMP IN MARYLAND.

JULY 20-21 ANN & MARTIN AT ANNAPOLIS. USED TOURIST BROCHURE WE PICKED UP IN 1977. PRICES AT ONE MOTEL HAD INCREASED FROM $10 TO $50, GOOD MEAL $5 TO $15, WATERFRONT HOUSES $70K TO $700K.

JULY 21   A & M PICK BETH UP AFTER CAMP. BETH MADE REQUEST FOR ANN TO MEET BETH'S COHORT GROUP (ADMITTEDLY GIRLS 9-12). BETH SAID, "THEY THINK YOU'RE INTERESTING MOMMY." I SAID LATER TO BETH, "GUESS THEY DIDN'T THINK I'D BE WORTH MEETING." BETH SAYS, "DADDY, I TRIED TO MAKE YOU SEEM INTERESTING, BUT IT JUST DIDN'T WORK."

JULY 26   GEORGE SAYS, "WHEN PEOPLE SAY 'YOU WEREN'T LISTENING' IT'S JUST AN EXCUSE FOR THEM TO KEEP TALKING."

JULY 27   AS WE ARE GOING SOMEWHERE BY CAR IT IS UNUSUALLY QUIET.

     MARTIN -"GEORGE, IT'S NICE OF YOU TO BE SO QUIET."

     GEORGE -"THE REASON I'M QUIET IS THAT I'M THINKING OF NEW                 EXCUSES FOR THINGS."

JULY 26,28    MONTREAL PITCHER MARK GARDNER PITCHERS 9 INNING NO HITTER AGAINST LA & LOSES IN 10TH. WITHIN 48 HRS, DENNIS MARTINEZ HAS PERFECT GAME (WINS 1-0)- SAME 2 TEAMS.

JUL  30   BOSTON ENDS LONGEST HOME LOSING STREAK SINCE 1927 (9 GAMES) AS CARLOS QUINTANA GETS 6 RBIs IN 3RD INNING. FIRST AL PLAYER TO GET 6 RBIs IN INNING SINCE 1959 (JIM LEMON OF SENATORS).

AUG  02   MIKE JEFFCOAT (TEXAS) GETS BLOOP RBI DOUBLE IN 9TH VS. MILW. 1ST BI IN REGULAR SEASON SINCE 1972 (WHEN DH BEGAN). OTHER STATS: FERGUSON JENKINS HAD PREVIOUS AL PITCHER HIT 10/2/74, TIM LOLLAR AS A PINCH HITTER GOT A HIT IN 86, RICK RHODEN BATTING AS A DH HAD SF RBI IN 88.

AUG  09   CONVERSATION WITH GEORGE,

     MARTIN - YOUR FRIEND SHARGIEL IS LEARNING TO SWIM.

     GEORGE - NOT AS GOOD AS ME.

     MARTIN - YES, BUT HE RIDES A BICYCLE BETTER.

     GEORGE - BUT SWIMMING IS MORE IMPORTANT.

          ANOTHER CONVERSATION,

     MARTIN - GEORGE, HAVE YOU BEEN EAVESDROPPING ON BETH AND CELIA          (BETH'S FRIEND).

     GEORGE - CHUCKLES, THINKS OF EXCUSE.

     MARTIN - I SEE IT'S FUN. ISN'T IT?

AUG  10   NEW ORLEANS HAS OVER 86" OF RAIN IN FIRST 7¼+ MONTHS. MORE THAN IN ANY FULL YEAR SINCE RECORDS HAVE BEEN KEPT.

AUG  11   BIKE RIDING WITH BETH ALONG MT VERNON-ALEX BIKE TRAIL. MY BICYLE HANDERBAR CAME UNBOLTED AFTER 3 MI. TALK ABOUT HARD TO STEER. BIKE RENTAL CO. GAME ME MY MONEY BACK.

AUG  11   WILSON ALVEREZ PITCHES NO HITTER FOR CHI VS BALT IN 2ND MAJOR LEAGUE START. IN HIS FIRST START (IN 89) HE GAVE UP 2 HRs AND GOT NONE OF 5 BATTERS OUT.

AUG  12  IT APPEARS THE M&Ms PURCHASED IN JUNE HAD A BIG SURPLUS OF REDs & YELLOWs AND BIG DEFICITS OF BROWN, TAN & ESPECIALLY ORANGE AS COMPARED WITH M&Ms PURCHASED DURING THE PREVIOUS 2 YEARS (PERHAPS DUE TO NEW PRODUCT).

AUG  15   ACCUSATION & EXCUSE

     MARTIN - I SEE YOU & YOUR SISTER HAD HERSEY'S KISSES TODAY.

     GEORGE - WE DID?? (PRETENDING NON RECOLLECTION)

     MARTIN - I FOUND A SILVER WRAPPER ON THE STAIRCASE.

     GEORGE - WELL MAYBE A HERSEY's KISS JUST FLEW OUT OF THE BAG.

     MARTIN - BUT I FOUND OTHER WRAPPERS NEAR THE STAIRCASE.

     GEORGE - WELL MAYBE SOME OTHERS THOUGHT FLYING WAS A GOOD IDEA               AND THEY FOLLOWED THE FIRST KISS.

AUG  19   WHEN I CAME HOME, BETH WAS STACKING CHERRIOS (I HAD SHOWED THEM THIS AND TOLD THEM I USED TO DO IT).

     MARTIN - SHOWED THIS TO YOUR FRIENDS YET.

     BETH -   I TOLD THE CLIQUES ABOUT IT AND GAVE A DEMONSTRATION.

     MARTIN - WHAT DID THEY SAY?

     BETH -   THEY MADE ME PROMISE NEVER TO DO IT AGAIN.      

AUG  25   BOSTON HAS ALL TIME HIGH AUGUST BAROMETER READING (~3.5") SIX DAYS AFTER ALL TIME RECORD AUGUST LOW BAROMETER (~2.8"). VOSTOK (ANTARCTIC) HAS RECORD LOW (DAILY) MAXIMUM OF -99°F.

AUG  25  GIVING BETH A PROBLEM ON SURFACES/EDGES/VERTICES OF GEOMETRICAL FIGURES. BETH ASKS, "WHAT GOOD IS IT?" I ANSWER, "IT'S IMPORTANT IF YOU WANT TO DESIGN A MACHINE OR A BUILDING." BETH SAYS, "WHAT IF I PROMISE NOT TO DESIGN ANY MACHINES."

AUG  26   BRET SABERHAGEN (K.C.) PITCHES NO HIT VS. CHI. IT IS THE 7TH OF THE YEAR AND 16TH IN THE 90s. IN THE 80s THERE WERE ONLY 15.

SEP  04   BETH LOST HER PURSE ON SEPT 03 AT SCHOOL. SHE GOT IT BACK FROM THE LOST AND FOUND ON SEPT 04. IT HAD NOT BEEN OPENED.

SEP 05   FORECAST AT 11:30 pm WAS FOR CLEARING OVERNIGHT, NO CHANCE OF RAIN. BY 3:00 am THE NEXT MORNING IT WAS RAINING. IT RAINED ALL DAY THE 6TH.

SEP  09   DISCUSSING MY 7-9th GRADE WITH BETH & GEORGE PRODUCED ENORMOUS END-OF-DINNER LAUGHTER. ANN FOUND IT UPSETTING.

     ANN - STOP THE ROUGHHOUSING.

     M, B & G - WE'RE NOT ROUGHHOUSING.

     ANN - THE DINING ROOM IS NOT A PLACE FOR ROUGHHOUSING.

     M, B & G - WE'RE JUST LAUGHING, NOT ROUGHHOUSING.

     ANN - WELL IF YOU WANT TO ROUGHHOUSE, GO DOWNSTAIRS.

SEPT 10   BETH & I GO TO HER INTERMEDIATE SCHOOL FOR 'BACK TO SCHOOL' NIGHT.  BETH WAS DOING TWIRLS AND TUGGING AT ME SAYING, "COME ON, LET ME SHOW YOU MY ..... ROOM." SHE WOULD CHANGE DIRECTION IN THE HALL, FORGET WHERE STAIRCASES WERE AND LEFT HER SCIENCE BOOK AT THE SCHOOL (WITHOUT PUTTING HER NAME IN THE BOOK). SHE GOT THE BOOK BACK THE NEXT DAY BUT LEFT SOMETHING ELSE.

SEPT 11   GEORGE CAN'T FIND GLASSES. GOES TO SCHOOL WITHOUT THEM. BETH FINDS THEM THE NEXT DAY. ANN SAYS TO GEORGE, "GIVE YOUR SISTER A KISS TO THANK HER." BETH SAYS, "YUCK, MAKE HIM GO AWAY."

SEPT 12   AS OF EARLY THIS am EVERY TEAM IN AL WEST .500 OR ABOVE.

          By 9/24 THEY WERE ALL AT LEAST .507 OR ABOVE

SEPT 14   SAN DIEGO ST FRESHMAN SUBSTITUTE RB MARSHALL FAULK RUNS FOR 386 YDS ON 37 CARRIES IN 55-34 WIN OVER PACIFIC UNIV.

SEPT 15   ROOKIE RAY LANKFORD (ST L) HITS FOR CYCLE VS NY METS.

SEPT 15  HAD BRUNCH AT OFFICER'S CLUB AT FT BELVOIR. GOT TABLE AT WINDOW OVERLOOKING POTOMAC. GEORGE ONLY SPILLED DRINK TWICE AND ICE CREAM ONCE.

SEPT 15   BETH INVITES FRIEND (AISHA) OVER TO DO CLOTHES FOLDING TOGETHER. NOW THAT'S A FRIENDSHIP WE CAN ENCOURAGE. GEORGE LOSES GLASSES AGAIN. GEORGE GIVES $4 TO CHARITY AT SUNDAY SCHOOL (NORMAL CONTRIBUTION IS 25¢).

SEPT 18   CONVERSATION:

     GEORGE -  WHAT TIME IS IT?

     M -       THAT'S THE 3RD TIME YOU'VE ASKED IN TEN MINUTES. WHY           AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR WATCH?

     GEORGE -  (OFFENDED VOICE) I DON'T HAVE A WATCH...(THEN AGAIN OFFENDED VOICE) AND I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SET THE TIME ON IT. IT.

SEPT 23   GEORGE REPORTS THAT BOTH KELLY AND KATHERINE, WHO IN THE 2ND GRADE CAPTAINED COMPETING CLIQUES, TRANSFERED INTO HIS 3RD GRADE CLASS. BY OCT 2, AFTER I HAD ASKED HIM REPEATEDLY ABOUT THE CONTINUING BATTLE BETWEEN THESE CLIQUES HE ADMITTED HE WAS MAKING IT UP. HE ALSO ADMITTED TO A FEW OTHER FIBS WHILE HE WAS AT IT.

SEPT 13   DEON SANDERS TO PLAY BB & FB WITHIN 36 HRS (ATL NEEDS HIM BECAUSE OF OTIS NIXON'S DRUG PROBLEMS. On Sept 23 he was NFL player of the week for Falcons, (including a stolen pass), on Sept 25 he stole a base for Braves).

SEPT 24   IN HIGHWAY NEWS, NEW HAMPSHIRE ANNOUCED IT'S 4TH HUMAN TRAFFIC FATALITY DUE TO AUTOS STRIKING A MOOSE. ALSO 151 MOOSE HAVE DIED IN SUCH ACCIDENTS. MOOSE FATALITIES ARE UP 400% FROM LAST YEAR.

SEPT 24   BETH WINS LOCKER SKIRMISH. NEIGHBOR TRIES TO CLOSE BETH'S LOCKER WHEN SHE WASN'T LOOKING, BUT BETH STOPPED IT. NEIGHBOR SAYS 'SORRY'.

SEPT 26   GEORGE CALLS A BOY "DUMN BUNNY" ON SCHOOL BUS AFTER AN ARGUMENT ON WHICH PLANET WAS CLOSER TO EARTH (VENUS, MARS). HE GOT A 'WARNING' SLIP FROM BUS MONITOR.

SEPT 27  AT DINNER, ANN SAYS TO BETH, "BEHAVE YOURSELF".

     BETH - "BUT, MOM, I'M JUST EATING CARROTS."

     ANN  - "YES, BUT YOU LOOK MISCHIEVOUS

SEPT 28   KIDS UPPERSTAIRS, ANN DOWNSTAIRS.

     ANN - QUIT MAKING A RACKET AND BANGING ON THE FURNITURE.

     BETH & GEORGE - WE'RE NOT BANGING, WE'RE JUST HAVING FUN.

     ANN - WELL QUIT IT.

SEPT 28   WATCHING MOVIE 'CARRIE' GEORGE ASKS, "DOES IT HAVE A            HAPPY ENDING"

     MARTIN - NOT REALLY. A LOT OF INNOCENT PEOPLE ARE HURT.

     GEORGE - ARE THEY HURT BY CARRIE'S SUPERPOWER?

     MARTIN - CORRECT

     GEORGE - THEN IT IS A HAPPY ENDING.

SEPT 29   PADDLEBOATING AT NEEDLEWOOD PARK (ROCKVILLE).

SEPT 30  APPLE HARVEST IN MD&VA COMBINED IS 500 MILLION POUNDS VS. 240 POUNDS LAST YEAR. PEACH HARVEST IS 44 MILLION POUNDS VS. 6 MILLION. REASON: NO SPRING FROST, MORE BEES.

SEPT 30   CARIBOU MAINE GETS 2" SNOW, THEIR EARLIEST RECORDED SNOWFALL

OCT  02   TORONTO SETS ALL TIME HOME ATTENDANCE RECORD 4,000,000+ IN LAST HOME GAME, THEN CLINCHES EASTERN CHAMPIONSHIP AT THEIR LAST AT BAT. THE LAST REGULAR LEAGUE SERIES OF THE YEAR WILL (1ST TIME EVER) HAVE THE SAME TEAMS AS THE LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES (MINNESOTA-TORONTO).

OCT 02   BETH ANNOUNCES SHE GOT POINTS OFF IN MATH FOR PUTTING TERMS WITHIN PARENTHESES THAT COULD HAVE BEEN PUT IN PARENTHESES WITHOUT CHANGING THE VALUE (E.G. (x+y)+z, rather than x+y+z). I CONSOLED HER SAYING SHE WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP THE x AND THE y MAKE NEW FRIENDS.

OCT 06   baseball season ends: DAVE CONE (NYMETS) STRIKES OUT 19 PHILLIES, TIES NL RECORD, ALSO TIES ROGER CLEMONS (BOSTON) WITH 241 FOR YEAR. NOLAN RYAN (TEXAS) FANS OVER 200 FOR THE 15TH TIME. BRETT BUTLER (LAS ANGELES) PLAYS 161ST GAME WITHOUT ERROR. MONTREAL ENDS WITH 68 HOME GAMES AND 95 ROAD GAMES ( on Sept 13, A beam collapsed in the stadium superstructure causing rescheduling). IN LAST GAME AT MEMORIAL STADIUM, THE LAST PERSON TO STRIKEOUT (MIKE DEVEREAU OF BALT. GOT TO 1ST BASE ON PASSED BALL). ALL TEAMS IN AL WEST ARE .500 OR BETTER, THE WEST WAS 274-214 AGAINST THE EAST. ATLANTA AND MINNESOTA WON DIVISIONS AND LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIPS (LATER THAT MONTH) AFTER FINISHING LAST IN 90. IN GAME 3 OF SERIES, MINN USED 23 OF 25 PLAYERS, IN GAME 4 ATLANTA HAD 2 RUNNERS THROWN OUT AT HOME IN SAME INNING (5TH). IN GAME 7, SCORE WAS TIED AT 0-0 AFTER 10½.

OCT  07   DC DEPT OF CORRECTIONS GUARD IS KILLED ON WAY TO TESTIFY AT DRUG/KIDNAPPING TRIAL. POLICE SAY NO CONNECTION IS INDICATED AND HAVE NO SUSPECTS.

OCT 08-11 M IN ORLANDO FLO. THE FLIGHT TO ORLANDO WAS ESPECIALLY NICE BECAUSE WITH NO CLOUDS AND LITTLE SURFACE WIND I COULD SEE THE SHALLOW WATER FORMATIONS AT RIVER MOUTHS BY NOTICING THE COLOR OF THE ATLANTIC WATER.

OCT 08   GEORGE LOSES GLASSES ON FIELD TRIP. NEXT WEEK, THE NOSE GUARD ON HIS SPARE PAIR CAME LOOSE.

OCT 12    GEORGE WINS FIRST GAME OF CRIBBAGE AGAINST ME AFTER A NUMBER OF LOSSES (HE THEN WON THE ONE AFTER THAT).

  

CHRONOLOGY 1991 CONTINUED

OCT 17    CAUGHT BETH USING BABY LANGUAGE WITH HER LARGE 4'x 3'x 2' STUFFED SHEEPDOG 'MITCH'. SHE ASKS ME NOT TO TELL PEOPLE, I PROMPTLY TOLD GEORGE WHO LIKED THE IDEA SO MUCH, HE DID IT TOO.

OCT  20   GEORGE EATS HUGE AMOUNT OF CHINESE FOOD AT DINNER. THROWS UP ALL NIGHT. GOOD TEST OF OUR STAIN/SOIL RESIST HI TECH CARPETING (SEEMS TO WORK).

OCT  21   FIRST EXTENSIVE FROST REQUIRING SCRAPING OF CAR WINDOWS

OCT  23   GEORGE HAS TO WRITE 3 FACTS ABOUT NEW ORLEANS FOR HOMEWORK. HE ASKED BETH HOW TO SPELL 'NEW ORLEANS'. BETH, THINKING GEORGE SHOULD LOOK UP ALTERNATIVE SPELLINGS, REFUSED. GEORGE GOT ANGRY. BETH HID IN BATHROOM. GEORGE POUNDS DOOR SHOUTING, "HOW DO YOU SPELL NEW ORLEANS, HOW DO YOU SPELL NEW ORLEANS." GEORGE ALSO COMPLAINS THAT WHEN HE SITS DOWN AT LUNCH A LOT OF GIRLS HE DOESN'T LIKE FLOCK TO HIM, NOT LEAVING ROOM FOR THE GIRLS HE DOES LIKE.

OCT  26   FOR GEORGE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY (ACTUAL B-DATE 10/30), WE HAD A CLOWN COME AND DO BALLOON SHAPES, MAGIC TRICKS, ETC. GEORGE COMPLAINED LATER OF INSUFFICIENT SPACE FOR GIFTS AND TOO MUCH THANK YOU WRITING.

OCT  27   GOOD DAY FOR AUTUMN LEAF WATCHING, WENT TO POHICK REGIONAL PARK W. ANN'S MOM AND CAUGHT LEAVES AS THEY CAME OFF SYCAMORE TREES. PROBLEM: KIDS SAW SIGN SAYING THE PARK RENTED SAILBOATS DURING SUMMER.

OCT  28-29 FIRST MAJOR WINTER STORM IN WEST AND MIDWEST US. SNOW UP TO 3'(DULUTH,MN). TEMPS DOWN TO -16°F. DOZENS OF RECORDS. SNOW AS FAR SOUTH AS BROWNSVILLE TX. (26°N). 

OCT 30  WHILE MAKING DINNER, I SAW BETH MAKING FACES AT AND PRETENDING TO HIT GEORGE WHO WAS MAKING FACES BACK.

     M -      BETH. STOP TORMENTING THE GEORGE AND HE'LL STOP TOO.

     BETH -   YEA GEORGE. STOP IT.

     GEORGE - DAD. SHE JUST TORMENTED ME.

OCT  31   BETH WANTS ME TO BRING HOME MY RICHARD NIXON RUBBER MASK SO SHE CAN SCARE TRICK OR TREATERS, KID KNOWS HOW TO MAKE HER DAD PROUD.    

NOV  05   GEORGE CLAIMS THAT HE WAS ON TV AT 5:00 PM (FOX CHANNEL), THE NEXT DAY HE TOLD ME HE HADN'T BEEN ON TV BUT THAT HE DREAMED HE WAS ON OPRAH (4PM).

NOV  06   BETH DREAMS WE HAVE ANOTHER CHILD. FIRST DAY BABY SIZE, 2ND DAY GREW TO SAME SIZE AS GEORGE.

NOV 07   BETH HIDES GEORGE'S SOCK IN HIS SALAD BOWL (PRE-DINNER). I TOLD HER, "BETH, STOP TORMENTING THE GEORGE .... pause ...BUT IF YOU MUST DO IT, DON'T BE UNSANITARY". GEORGE, SERVED FIRST, SAID (at dinner), "SEE BETH, I GET MACARONI & CHEESE WITH A PICKLE AND YOU WON'T." I SAID, "BUT GEORGE, BETH WILL TOO GET DINNER AS SOON AS SHE FINISHES HER SALAD." GEORGE SAYS, "DAD, I WAS JUST ANTAGONIZING BETH." BETH SAID, "YOU'RE BRILLIANT, DUMBO."

NOV 09 G - DAD WHEN DO YOU THINK WE'LL HAVE ANOTHER WAR.

        M - PROBABLY AT LEAST SEVERAL YEARS

        G - DARN.

        M - GEORGE, YOU KNOW EVEN WHEN WE WIN A WAR, THERE MIGHT BE          A LOT OF PEOPLE KILLED AND A LOT OF JOBS LOST.

        G - PAUSE...THAT'S TRUE, BUT WE WOULD GET TO GO TO BUSCH GARDENS AGAIN (IN SEPT., I WENT FOR FREE BY SHOWING MY USNR ID, THE COMPANY WAS THANKING MILITARY PERSONNEL AND I TOLD KIDS WE COULD GO AGAIN IF USA WINS ANOTHER WAR).

NOV  11   WENT TO SEE GEORGE AT SCHOOL, THEY WERE DOING EXPERIMENT MAKING CLAY BOATS AND FILLING THEM WITH MARBLES (DEMONSTRATE CONCEPT OF BUOYANCY). PROBLEM WAS GEORGE COULDN'T MAKE BOAT THAT COULD FLOAT. I TRIED TO HELP, BUT I COULDN'T MAKE ONE EITHER. SOME OF THE GIRLS HAD MADE A 5 MARBLE BOAT & 4 MARBLE CANOE.

NOV  16   AT REGIONAL 7-9TH GRADE CONCERT (BETH IN 7TH GRADE IS 4TH CHAIR VIOLA). BETH ASKS WHAT THEY DID WRONG. I INDICATED THERE WAS A FALSE NOTE AT BEGINNING OF 4TH PIECE. BETH SAYS, "THAT WAS ME AND THEY TOLD ME NO ONE WOULD NOTICE." LATER THAT EVENING BETH CURLS UP IN LARGE CARDBOARD BOX TO DO HOMEWORK.

NOV  19  BETH HAD LEFT HER SCHOOL BOOKS ALL OVER KITCHEN TABLE AND I HAD PRETTY SEVERELY ADMONISHED HER. AFTER THIS, GEORGE CAME UP TO ME AND HUGGED ME AND SAID, "OH DADDY, I LOVE IT WHEN YOU GET MAD AT BETHY." EARLIER THAT DAY, GEORGE HAD BEEN ENCOURAGED TO BUY LUNCH AT SCHOOL (SPECIAL THANKGIVING LUNCH) BUT BECAUSE OF EXTRA PEOPLE IN LINE, HE DID NOT HAVE TIME TO EAT ANY OF IT.

NOV  20   ANOTHER CRITICAL PROBLEM. NEWSPAPER REVEALS THAT UP TO 100 GRAVESTONES/YR ARE BEING REPOSSESSED IN WASHINGTON AREA. SEEMS SOME PEOPLE PUT DOWNPAYMENT AND IGNORE THE REST OF THE NOTE AND THE FOLLOW UP CORRESPONDANCE. ALSO GRAVESTONES ARE REUSUABLE. STONES UP TO 400 LBS HAVE BEEN REPOSSESSED. DOES SHIRLEY MACLAINE KNOW ABOUT THIS?

NOV  21   BETH MAKES ME PROUD OF HER AGAIN WHEN IN DISCUSSION WITH HER PEERS CONCERNING WHO ARE ADMIRABLE ENTERTAINERS, BETH MENTIONED TANYA ROBERTS (LEAD IN BEASTMASTER, SHEENA).

NOV  24   TWO DAYS AGO, I GOT GEORGE TO AGREE TO RIDE BICYCLE BY GETTING 'BATTLECHESS' SOFTWARE. TODAY I RENDERED THE SOFTWARE INOPERABLE BY IMPROPER INSTALLATION OF THE COMPUTER MOUSE. (FIXED NEXT DAY).

NOV  25  GOOD NEWS - USDA REPORT A LARGE BEETLE THAT EATS GYPSY MOTH LARVA HAS BEEN SEEN WITHIN 60 MILES. ENTOMOLOGISTS CALL IT THE 'DARTH VADAR' OF BEETLES.

NOV  29   CLEVELAND GETS MORE BLOCKED SHOTS THAN TURNOVERS IN B-BALL GAME VS PHILDELPHIA. TEAMS COMBINED FOR 25 BLOCKED SHOTS.

NOV 30    ONLY WITNESS TO MURDER OF PRISON GUARD, HIMSELF A WITNESS IN DRUG CASE, IS MURDERED.  SHE WAS WOUNDED (5 BULLETS ARM, 1 IN HEAD) IN THE OCT. 7 MURDER OF THE GUARD. ACCUSED SAID TO HAVE A HISTORY OF WITNESS INTIMIDATION. TWO DAYS EARLIER 31 YR OLD GAL WAS KILLED BY BULLET FROM ANOTHER CAR WHILE SHE WAS PASSENGER IN A CAR DRIVING ON THE BELTWAY. ACCUSED (AGE 16, NOT KNOWN BY VICTIM) WAS ON BAIL ($1000) WHILE AWAITING TRIAL FOR INTENT TO KILL. TRIAL HAD BEEN POSTPONED THREE TIMES.

DEC  02   TO HELP BETH WITH REPORT ON ALBERT EINSTEIN I TOLD HER THAT INSTEAD OF THINKING ABOUT PRETTY DRESSES OR WHAT TO EAT, EINSTEIN USED TO DAYDREAM ABOUT WHAT TIME WOULD SEEM LIKE TO A MAN SITTING ON A LIGHT WAVE. BETH'S RESPONSE, "THAT'S PITIFUL, DIDN'T HE HAVE A LIFE."

DEC  04-5 M IN ALBANY, NY/HARRISBURG PA. FLIGHT FROM WASH TO ALBANY WAS TO BE 75 MIN. WAS ACTUALLY 60 MIN DUE TO 170 MPH TAILWIND. FLIGHT FROM HARRISBURG TO WASH. WAS DELAYED DUE TO LIGHT BULB FAILURE. HOW MANY USAIR EMPLOYEES DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB. EVIDENTLY MORE THAN WERE AVAILABLE BECAUSE WE CHANGED PLANES INSTEAD.

DEC 07   ANN TAKES G&B TO LUNCH IN OLD TOWN, ALEX. GEORGE, WHEN ASKED BY WAITER HOW HE WANTS HIS HAMBURGER SAYS, "AS RARE AS YOU CAN LEGALLY SERVE IT." OBVIOUSLY HE PAYS ATTENTION TO SOME THINGS I SAY.

DEC  07   POPEYE'S RESTAURANT AT 1200 BLOCK OF H ST NE HAD BEEN ROBBED ABOUT 8:30 PM ON WED, THURS AND FRI. TODAY THE POLICE STAKED OUT THE RESTAURANT AND APPREHENDED SUSPECTS.

DEC 10   IN RESPONSE TO KIDs QUESTIONS (SOME MONTHS AGO) ABOUT WHAT ORDERS I HAVE TO OBEY, I HAD EXPLAINED THAT I HAVE TO OBEY ALL LEGAL ORDERS AND GAVE THEM EXAMPLES OF LEGAL & ILLEGAL ORDERS.  GEORGE, TODAY WAS PLAYING SOLDIER AND INSISTED I GIVE HIM COMMANDS (E.G. ATTENTION, FORWARD MARCH, PARADE REST). AFTER AWHILE, I GOT TIRED OF DOING THIS AND ISSUED AN ORDER 'GO PESTER MOMMY'. GEORGE STARTED UP STAIRS, THEN CAME DOWN AND SAID, "ILLEGAL ORDER, TRY AGAIN."

DEC 11   BETH'S SCHOOL CONCERT. TEACHER HAD M AND SEVERAL OTHER PARENTS PLAY ODDBALL INSTRUMENTS (I.E. SLIDE WHISTLE, RR TRAIN WHISTLE, GRINDER BLOCK) DURING A SCOTT JOPLIN PIECE. THEY MADE KIDS WEAR CUMMERBUNDS AND TIES (MATCHING, RENTED).

DEC  12   PULLED CHAPERON DUTY WITH GEORGE'S 3RD GRADE VISIT TO KENNEDY CENTER FOR PERFORMING ARTS. MOZART THEME. ON WAY BACK TO BUS KIDS WALKED BY CLASSIC-STYLE STATUARY, (I.E. NUDE ANATOMICALLY CORRECT). FROM THEIR COMMENTS, THEY FOUND IT QUITE EDUCATIONAL.

DEC  14   PURCHASED A DEFECTIVE AUTOMOBILE BATTERY (DELCO 50 MONTH) FROM A LOCAL PARTS STORE. WHEN I BROUGHT IT BACK, THE STORE REFUSED TO GIVE ME MY MONEY BACK. THIS MAY GO ALL THE WAY TO THE SUPREME COURT.

DEC  15   WHILE WORKING WITH COMPUTER (HOME) IT STARTED SPONTANEOUSLY CALLING THROUGH IT'S INTERNAL MODEM. HMMM. DESERVES A CALL TO DEALER.

DEC  17  CHARLES BARKLEY CLAIMS HE WAS MISQUOTED IN HIS AUTOBIOGRAPHY (RE:COACH). (ON JULY 30, 1987, JOE THEISMAN CALLED A PRESS CONFERENCE ON A SIMILAR CHARGE).

DEC  17   CLEVELAND CAVALIERS BEAT MIAMI HEAT 148-80 (AVENGING A LOSS TO SAME TEAM PREVIOUS WEEK) SETTING NBA RECORD OF 68 PT VICTORY. PREVIOUS RECORD WAS LA LAKERS 162-GOLDEN STATE WARRIORS 99 ON 3/19/72. EARLIER IN YEAR (11/2) GOLDEN STATE HAD BEATEN SACRAMENTO 153-91.

DEC  21   DESPITE ABOVE NORMAL TEMPERATURES, ICE HAS FORMED IN POTOMAC AND WASHINGTON SHIP CHANNEL (DRAINAGE OF COLDER AIR TO LOWER ELEVATION AREAS). also seen on dec 26.

DEC  22   REDSKINS END SEASON WITH QUARTERBACKS SACKED ONLY 9 TIMES IN 16 GAMES (5 IN TWO GAMES WITH PHILADELPHIA).

DEC  24   AT NATIONAL AQUARIUM IN BALT. A DOLPHIN KILLS A WHALE. THE PEOPLE FOR ETHICAL TREATMENT OF ANIMALS (PETA) SPOKESMAN SAYS, "I'M NOT GOING TO SAY I TOLD YOU SO BUT I TOLD YOU SO." PETA IS AGAINST AQUARIA HAVING ANY LARGE MAMMALS, FEELING SUCH MAMMALS ARE SAFER IN THE OCEAN.

DEC  25   D.C. BREAKS RECORD FOR HOMICIDES IN A YEAR (484+). THE METRO AREA HAS ALSO BROKEN ANNUAL HOMICIDES RECORD (750+) WITH THE BIGGEST INCREASE IN PRINCE GEORGE COUNTY (MD) WHICH IS UP SOME 30% FROM PREVIOUS ALL TIME HIGH. THE ANTI-GUN LAWS DO APPEAR TO BE HAVING AN EFFECT, HOWEVER, AS OVER 20% OF HOMICIDES ARE NOW COMMITTED WITH KNIVES OR BY STRANGULATION.

DEC  25   DID WATER OPTIC EXPERIMENT WITH GEORGE (SHINE FLASHLIGHT INTO TIN CAN FILLED WITH WATER WITH HOLE NEAR BOTTOM- OBSERVE LIGHT FOLLOWING PATH INSIDE WATER STREAM). IT WORKED. ALSO HELPED BETH SET UP FUNGI EXPERIMENT (6 YELLOW SPONGES WITH MOLDY WATER AND HYPOTHETICAL FUNGICIDE IN PLASTIC SEE-THRU CONTAINER SET IN DARK COLD PLACE). WE'LL SEE IF THIS WORKS NEXT YEAR.

DEC  26   ASKED BETH WHAT SHE HAD DONE TODAY (OFF FROM SCHOOL) SHE SAID, "WELL, I ARRANGED MY BLOUSES FROM CAUSAL TO DRESSY" AND THEN SHE BROKE UP LAUGHING.

DEC  28   AT CONCERT WITH HIGH AMP TYPE EQUIPMENT, GEORGE GETS OPEN MICROPHONE (AS PART OF SINGER'S ACT, AUDIENCE INVOLVED). G HAS SURPRISINGLY GOOD STAGE PRESENCE AND GOOD VOICE.

DEC  31   BOTH BETH AND GEORGE STAY UP UNTIL NEW YEAR. BETH PLAYING ON COMPUTER, GEORGE WATCHING RERUNS OF DRAGNET (NEXT DAY GEORGE SAID HE HAD DREAMED A DRAGNET PLOT).

DEC  31   ALSO AS OF THIS DATE NO MOLD IN BETH'S SCIENCE EXPERIMENT. STUFF DOESN'T SEEM TO GROW WHEN YOU WANT IT TO. IT'S EVERYWHERE WHEN YOU DON'T